Enfilade

Commentary from The Onion:

“I Think I’d Make A Pretty Good HBO Show,” The Onion (19 June 2012)
By 18th-Century France

I don’t think I’m talking out of turn here when I say that, as far as historical eras are concerned, I am probably one of the richest and most exciting periods in Western history. That’s not me bragging; it’s just a generally accepted truth at this point. After all, not every century of a nation’s past can boast successive international wars, a radical intellectual movement, and a bloody revolution, but I’ve got all of that and then some. In fact, one would be pretty hard-pressed to find a period more compelling and ripe for gripping drama than myself.

Which is why, when you think about it, it’s pretty crazy there hasn’t been an HBO original series about me about by now. Something like 40,000 people were beheaded during me, for God’s sake. Put that into a made-for-TV drama that weaves a rich tapestry of historical narrative with gritty tales of intrigue, murder, and sex, and I’m pretty much an untapped gold mine of programming, right?

I know, I know, everyone and their mother thinks they have a great idea for a cable television show, but stick with me on this one. Between sprawling aristocratic estates juxtaposed with sordid underworlds and political upheaval driven by ambitious but flawed political figures, I can deliver the full HBO package. You want elegant costumes? Check. Candelabras? Check. Beautiful women with moles? Check and check. I’m packed full of cool stuff. You could slot me in on, say, Sunday nights at nine and probably get a 2.5 Nielsen rating, easy. . .

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